Spitfire
by Ms.Adventure
Summary: A future story. The Twins are grown. How does the student body handle a new girl with a penchant for arson?  T for language. Maybe a one-shot, maybe more.
1. New Day

_Title: Spitfire_

_Rating: T for language_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any part of St. Trinian's but do have exclusive rights to the original character._

_Notes: This idea struck me a while back. I've been imagining what the Sopranos would be like as they got older. I've never done a new character insertion before. Let me know your thoughts._

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><p>Camilla Fritton, Headmistress and ruler of a kingdom far more unruly than anything Elizabeth Windsor had to worry about, walked peacefully amidst chaos. Throngs of schoolgirls swarmed in every direction on this, the first day of yet another new term. The sensation of compressed air alerted her instincts and Miss Fritton ducked just as a rocket was launched over her head. <em>I might be getting to old for this. Little scamps.<em> She contained her smile as she spotted the culprit. Apparently a few of the Fourth Form girls had managed to ransack a fireworks warehouse over the summer.

The Second Years had set up a catapult system to jettison luggage into the dorm via a broken window. It wasn't broken before today. Results, at the moment, were mixed as another suitcase exploded and hailed down brightly colored polyester. The Flammable to whom it belonged was having an excellent fit. They were all in good form this year. Camilla noticed one of the new Tottys getting a little overly involved with her boyfriend on his bonnet.

"No indecent exposure before 11, Georgiana!" she chided, snapping the girl's bright purple thong hard enough to leave a line on her bum. The snogging couple promptly rolled off the car with matching yelps.

She spotted a terrified Geoffrey Thwaites standing in the entryway, flattened as tight as possible against a pillar. The first time he'd been on school grounds for opening day he was chased with paintball and pepper ball guns until he fell into the pond. They then fished him out, stripped him to his briefs and forced him to run barefoot through the stinging nettles to retrieve his clothing. For the last six years he hadn't so much as peeked out of Camilla's residence. Today he'd had no choice, duty compelled him to be present. He'd equipped himself accordingly, dressed in a Kevlar vest and wearing the helmet from one of the 12th century suits of armor. He lifted the visor to peek out at the mayhem, checking to see if he'd been noticed.

Several of the Geeks were already readying a massive electromagnet for the helmet. Camilla decided she'd best intervene before they ripped her fiancée's head off. She was just marching towards them when the noise of incredibly loud music announced that the day's most expected arrival had just breached the village perimeter. The first lookout to spot the barreling cloud of dust always received a week without curfew as reward. Fritton turned to watch as the swirl of earthen chaos approached like a sandstorm of fury, bringing with it the sound of sirens, alarms and the rhythmic thump of chopper blades.

Two black ninjas burst through the perimeter gates and barreled up the drive. They didn't cut their acceleration for a moment, even when they both launched grenades into the derelict car on the football pitch, blasting the last of its frame to pieces. They drove straight into the mass of cars, luggage and students that had all stopped to stand still and watch the entrance; splitting in two different directions they tore a wide swathe of destruction around the rabble. They opened their throttles at the last moment before hitting two parked taxis, jumping the boots and leaping directly into the air, sailing over the mass of students that had huddled into a tight knot. The bikes landed in a clearing, skidding to a spinning halt with a cloud of burnt rubber.

The riders leaped from their bikes, tearing off their helmets and rushing together to check their watches.

"Thirty-seven minutes! New record!" Tania and Tara slapped a happy high-five. Camilla waved a hand in front of herself to clear the dust and smoke as she approached the Twins.

"Congratulations. Fastest time to the school?" she inquired. She noted that the police cars had all halted at the property edge, knowing better than to penetrate the sacrosanct grounds of St. Trinian's. They'd never make it past the traps anyway.

"No, Miss. Longest they've chased us!" Tania smiled as Tara waved and blew a kiss at the helicopter still hovering overhead. The pilot was obviously at a loss as to procedure now he'd lost his ground support. He circled the grounds a few more times before a catapulted suitcase nearly hit his tail blade. Realizing that St. Trinian's was hazardous airspace the chopper retreated, a choice that would be wholeheartedly supported by law enforcement for miles around since they sure as hell weren't going to offer backup.

"Well, there'll be inquiries tomorrow I'm sure. Fresh paint and new numbers on the bikes, shall we?" Fritton nodded.

"Yes, Miss." the two blondes had never stopped synchronizing, not even once in their six years at the school. Tara snapped her fingers, summoning the garage crew to wheel the ninjas away for modification. Camilla observed the twin sisters fondly. She'd watched them grow up and felt no small pride in knowing she'd contributed to their exquisitely diabolical minds.

After the delightfully theatrical entrance the girls all resumed their activities, predominantly fighting and making bets on the fights. It would've been unusual for anyone to notice the unremarkable taxi that rolled in and let out a quiet, redheaded girl without any ceremony. Camilla noticed only because she saw Geoffrey straighten up and take a step forward. _Ah, so that must the one._ Fritton walked towards the child who was currently struggling to pull her suitcase from the boot. The taxi driver got out and shoved her away with a small oath before ripping the suitcase out and flinging it at her hard enough that she fell over. None of the cabs ever wanted to come into St. Trinian's and they left as quickly as possible.

"I say! You could practice a tad more chivalry." Camilla rebuked, helping the child to her feet.

"Whatever." he started to turn away.

"Stay where you are! If she's injured you'll be held fully accountable," the Headmistress turned to the girl, "Are you alright, girlie?"

The girl didn't answer, just stared wide-eyed up at her. Her eyes were almost frighteningly green. Or maybe it was just her not blinking that was worrisome.

"She don't talk! Couldn't figure out where I was bringing her 'til she drew me a bloody map!" he sounded like a man resentfully entrapped.

"I don't blame her for choosing not to communicate! She was undoubtedly saving herself for better company." she snapped, feeling a building revulsion.

"Whatever. I'm supposed to be paid on arrival, she got the brass or not?"

"I'll be paying her fare." Geoffrey stepped forward as quickly as he dared. The driver didn't seem impressed, what with the helmet still obscuring Thwaites' face, but he was all smiles when he saw a wallet produced.

Camilla was just about to try to question the girl again but noticed she'd climbed into the front of the cab. Fritton was not so naïve as to think the girl was leaving a tip. Peering in the driver's window she saw that the redhead was smearing gel from a tin all over the front dash, particularly around the cigarette lighter. When she pulled the lighter out and stuck a finger full of goo inside the charger tube the Headmistress recognized her intent.

Tapping the girl's ankle to summon her out Camilla found her suspicions confirmed by the familiar smell of paraffin on tiny hands. The cabbie positively reeked of cheap cigars. The cab did as well, a solid indication he'd be lighting up for the drive home. She eyed the determined, offended face before her and made a snap decision.

"Wipe off the radio dials or he'll get suspicious." she thrust a kerchief into the girl's hands and positioned herself to block the driver's view of his cab until the sabotage could be complete.

"Bloody madhouse you have here, lady." the driver turned, pocketing his money at the same moment Camilla felt the handkerchief pushed back into her hand from behind.

"Well, I don't imagine you'll be returning anytime soon." she gave him a dangerously friendly smile as she pulled the girl and her luggage away from the cab. She only hoped he waited until he was off the property before engaging in his vulgar tastes. Thwaites pulled his helmet off and squatted down to eye level with the girl under Camilla's hand.

"Hello, Ashlin. I'm Geoffrey, do you remember me?" he waited to see her give a single nod, "Good, this is Headmistress Fritton. Your father asked for me to get you enrolled here and she's been good enough to make all the arrangements. I really think you'll enjoy your time here."

The girl nodded but both adults noticed her eyes were drifting to one side. Following her gaze the former minister spotted a Chav lighting a cigarette. Fritton couldn't help but wonder if the girl had an objection to smokers at large. She seemed a bit young to be on an anti-cancer campaign.

"Indeed you will. I'll have one of our girls show you to the dorm. Julie, would you show Ashlin upstairs?" Camilla called over the Sixth Former who had risen from juvenile witch doctor to head Emo. Her shaved and tattooed head didn't attract the new girl's gaze for even a moment. The sullen teen grabbed Ashlin's bag and nodded for the mute to follow her into the building. No one but the most studious observer would've noticed that, while she was passing the smoking Chav, Ashlin managed to steal the pack of matches right out of her pocket. Miss Fritton smirked, awarding herself a victory for discernment.

"Thank you again, Camilla. I've known her family for years and they're quite beside themselves at this stage." Geoffrey began undoing the catches on his Kevlar vest, watching the redheaded girl disappear up the hall.

"Yes, well, she's certainly the youngest girl we've ever admitted. It's only the difference of one year though. Since she's here more for environment than academics I don't imagine it will do her any harm to sit in with the First Years." Fritton shrugged. Her philosophy for admittance all these years had been quite simple: anyone who could afford to get in and might actually survive. Being thrown in with the youngest students was a trial by fire, the equivalent of being tossed into the deep end of the pool. Whatever happened, this new girl promised to be a novel experience for St. Trinian's.

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><p>Ordinarily, when the Sopranos were summoned to the Headmistress' office it was to help with criminal investigations. Mostly crimes they'd committed or orchestrated. The local police were still trying to figure out a way to nail them for the theft of a local statue. It had been copper. The Geeks had needed to make filaments . . .<p>

Camilla regarded the Twins over her desk, sipping her tea (with brandy) contemplatively. She was in no hurry. It was far too much fun to watch the identical blondes try not to fidget. Ten to sixteen she'd known them and they still could barely hold still. The arrival of hormones to the school's most deadly demolitions team had proven a harrowing experience. For a few years it had been only through the miracle of prayer and potassium bicarbonate that the school had remained standing. The twins depended on explosives the way other people relied on alcohol. Depressed? Blow something up. Angry? Blow something up. Numb? See above. Eventually the mood swings had leveled off but it was still a chancy thing three days of the month.

The girls had gone through a brief independent identity craze, one dying her hair red and the other jet black in an effort to separate themselves. It had passed quickly: they rediscovered strength in their similarities. For the last two years they'd been firmly settled in their comfortable identities. They had created a style fusing Posh Totty and Emo, an amalgamation of ripped fishnets, short skirts, leather and skin. If Tania was slightly more Totty and Tara just a hint more Emo, it was never enough to cause division. They refused to join the tribes, choosing to remain together and apart from the rest. Despite the differences in their hair (Tania's a wild mane, Tara's severely straight ) and makeup (seductive and scary, relatively) they were still unmistakably twins. THE Twins.

At the moment they were both playing with plastic explosive, molding it into various new shapes and comparing with each other. Tara's headless man lost to Tania's dismembered dog. They were just in the process of uniting the two sculptures, creating a mutant man-dog when Camilla cleared her throat and they both jerked their eyes forward.

"You two have been intrinsic to much of St. Trinian's history in your time here. Being the brilliant and destructive innovators you've always proven to be, it is only fitting you raise the bar in yet another area of academic life. I am only too pleased to tell you that you, my dear Sopranos, shall be Head Girl. Time to show them two heads really are better than one!"

It was a relief really. The identical twins had been ruling the school for years despite lacking the title - much like Kelly Jones had in her time. Now they'd finally started the Lower Sixth Camilla could, in good conscience, grant them the rank they deserved.

The two girls stared at her, then looked at each other. Very few people ever heard the two girls communicate directly. The theory, at this point, was that they used some form of ESP to transmit thoughts directly without the clumsy use of tongues and words. They'd elevated Twin Talk to Twin Telepathy.

"Does this mean we can authorize new purchases for the chop shop? The garage is dying for an auto twirler." Tara went right to business.

"The distillery needs new filter systems as well." Tania chimed in. Heaven help the fool that thought her pretty exterior meant no mind. She'd taken a number of tips from Chelsea Parker and her successors.

"We can discuss that during the next budget meetings. I'll need some time to prepare Bursar." Fritton shook her head; the tiny man had sacrificed his nerves, digestion and hair to the school They'd been in the black ever since the discovery of Queen Lear but that didn't stop him fretting over every penny that went out of the ledger.

"Very good, Miss." Tara nodded and started to rise but a sharp look from the Headmistress planted her back in the chair.

"We have a new student this year that I require your help with. Ashlin Byrne. I don't usually take an interest in individual students," she saw both heads nod agreement, to her chagrin, "But outside influences have requested more attention than usual. Therefore, I make the care and supervision of this new girl your responsibility."

There was another silent exchange between the twins. Fritton wished she had some grounds for preventing them using such forms of communication. Unfortunately, there was no precedent for 'it creeps me out' objections. TnT hesitated only a moment before turning their matching, piercing blue eyes on the Headmistress.

"What's wrong with her then?" they asked in synchrony. Camilla hated when they did that. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it to stall for time. After a minute she blew out a relaxed smoke ring. It circled the twins before vaporizing into air.

She outlined, in careful detail, all that Geoffrey had told her the night before. The fire that had trapped the girl in her bedroom at 7 years old, burning down the entire house but somehow never ravaging the room from which she watched the scorching devastation. The schools she'd been ejected from for blowing up science labs, burning fellow students and - at least once - vaporizing the pool with a localized incendiary device. It seemed if there was anything combustible in the same room as the Irish child a conflagration was inevitable.

"Sounds a perfect fit for St. Trinian's." Tara grinned after she'd heard the full report.

"We should be able to keep her focused on more precise areas of destruction." Tania agreed, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Excellent. I don't doubt the two of you shall do absolute miracles with her behavior."

As if having heard the Headmistress' words a loud crash resounded from overhead. The three all raced to the window in time to watch a bed, on fire, sail through the air after having been launched from the dormitory window. Ashlin jumped off the flaming mattress when it landed, batting the sparks out of her dress. She looked up and saw the three set of eyes staring out the window at her. She raised a hand covered in burns into the air to wave at them all. Her grin of childish happiness was radiant despite the smudges and scorch wounds.

"Make certain she stays safe within our walls. She will undoubtedly be useful in years to come." Camilla remarked, watching as a mass of Second Years dragged the new girl away for medical treatment and orientation.


	2. Firebug

_Time to meet some more of the older St. Trinian's girls. Let me know if I've left any of them out!_

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><p><strong>Ash<strong>

TnT went up the dorms to announce heir new status. This first required getting everyone's attention; a problem the Twins always enjoyed addressing with creativity. A quick stun grenade quieted things down a treat.

"Two Head Girls? How's that work then, you take turns or something?" Jem - who'd dropped the more complex Jeminima when she acquired her gold hoops - asked from the Chav side of the room.

"Nah, they're each only half the other anyway." the remark came from a young Emo. Obviously too young to remember what had happened to the last girl that made fun of the Twins' symbiotic relationship. She noticed everyone quickly moving away from her.

"It means twice the trouble for you lot." Tania answered, walking menacingly towards the disrespectful speaker. The Emo turned to put some distance between herself and the coming assault but found Tara had appeared beside her like magic.

"And half the chances." the other blonde grinned, grabbing the girl's arm. They decided to escort her to the vivarium; a rousing game of Blind Man's Bluff would give her a chance to win freedom and the appropriate antivenom. The last girl so punished had slept with a lit torch for 8 months because every time it went dark she smelled the lush foliage and heard the tiny buzzing, slithering, chattering noises that covered a far more terrifying silence.

They were just reaching the dorm doors when Tabitha entered, escorting Ashlin back from Matron's office. The Sopranos paused, holding silent conference. With an air of sadness they realized their new responsibilities might encroach on playtime.

"It's your lucky day. Miss Cleaver needs volunteers for the anger management class." Tara nodded for her sister to take the offender away. For the next month she'd spend an hour everyday on her hands and knees crawling under gunfire. She would, indeed, consider herself lucky.

"What happened earlier anyway?" Tara stepped over to Tabitha. She'd outgrown most of her lisp but the girls who knew her could still hear the faint slur on certain sounds.

"Oh, the Totties went off when they saw her; lots of babble about being jealous of natural red hair. Then a bunch of the younger girls start talking about selling it for extensions. One of 'em grabs a razor and suddenly she's leaped behind her bed, set fire to the sheets and shoving it past them all. I don't think she meant to go out the window." Tabitha shrugged. She'd become a Geek her fourth year and couldn't be bothered to care about anything that didn't involve a power cord.

"Good reflexes then. Must've been a hell of a ride." Tara chuckled. She watched Ashlin hug the wall as she walked back into the First Year crib, trying to stay as small and unnoticed as possible. She stopped in the empty space where her bed had been, distinguished by the scorch marks on the floor. Her eyes, which had been nervously darting around the chaos, locked onto the burned wood and seemed to calm down.

"We'll get you a sleeping bag for the night. Your frame won't be repaired 'til tomorrow." Tara approached the crib but stopped when the child skittered further away. The Head Girl's presence attracted the other girls' attention and they burst into cheers when they saw Ashlin, who'd so desperately been trying to avoid notice.

"Oi! That was aces!"

"Never seen a bed go up that fast!"

"Never seen a bed _move_ that fast!"

Two or three girls raced over, shouting congratulations. They were brought up short by a sudden flash of movement; Ashlin's hand flying from her pocket and a burst of fire hitting their shoes, igniting screams.

"Bloody hell! We got Harriet Potter now?" the Chavs were the first to panic. Surprises - dangerous or not - attract St. Trinian's girls like tornadoes to a trailer park and the students began to rush over, clustering around the floor show. This caused Ashlin to panic even worse and she spun away, racing towards the doors and rapidly flinging tiny incendiaries behind her.

"Oi, stop her!"

As is only natural with pack animals, the girls chased anything running and the redhead wound up blocked from the doorway by a tightening circle of spectators. All determined to be in the front row of the action but trying to avoid getting too close.

"How's she do that then?" Jem demanded, her question echoed by most of the others.

"Fire spell?"

"Nano-grenade?"

"My shoes!" Georgiana's wail was the only voice not preoccupied with the new girl's mysterious ability.

"Everyone just calm down, right?" Tara's authoritative voice quieted them all, "No reason for hysterics."

"Have you seen what she did to my shoes?" Georgiana argued. _So blonde._ Tara rolled her eyes, hearing Kelly Jones' voice in her head. Ashlin was spinning, trying to stay equal distance from everyone. Every now and then another fireball would scorch the ground near a foot that came closer than she liked.

"Look, we aren't going to hurt you, ok? Just take a deep breath and . . .grab her!" Tara ordered in the split second that Ashlin's eyes were locked on only her. Tania, who'd arrived in the doorway during the bedlam, lunged forward and caught the girl firmly by the arms. She struggled, mouth forming screams that made no sound but the Twin held firm.

"What'd I miss?" Tania was crestfallen to have been left out of this recent excitement.

"Nothing much. Hold her still, I need in her jacket." Tara shook her head and dug into the tiny pockets. She pulled out a handful of marbles. Striped marbles. Striped marbles that felt like wax. Holding one up to the light she scratched her fingernail against the small ball, smelling a familiar chemical.

"Tabitha?" she tossed one of the wax marbles to the Geek, who also tested it's surface and smell.

"Phosphorus sesquisulfide." Tabitha nodded, vaguely interested in the whole affair for a moment.

"And paraffin wax. How many science labs you burn down getting these little beauties right?" Tara smirked, tossing one of the chemical balls to the floor, the instant friction and heat igniting it like an over-sized match head. Ashlin didn't reply but there was a definite glint of pride in her eyes, particularly as the smoldering fireball burnt into the wood.

"We could use those at the next track games." Tania released her hold of the girl and came over to inspect the inventions. The redhead twitched like she was going to bolt again but hesitated, realizing she wasn't in trouble after all.

"Just what we needed, a Geek firebug." Jem cracked her gum and rolled her eyes, signaling to her tribe that the entertainment was over. The girls dispersed with murmurs and contained arguments. Only Georgiana was still standing there, clutching her burnt heels. Realizing she wasn't getting justice for her wardrobe casualty she stomped back to the Posh Totty couch.

"If we give you the lab can you show our girls how to make these?" Tara turned back to Ashlin. The skeptical green eyes studied her and her sister for several long seconds. She held out her open palm, demanding. The Sopranos smirked but handed back the fistful of round fire starters. Once they were secure in Ashlin's pocket she gave them a smile and a nod of agreement. The Twins held out their fists and she bumped both.

"Your hands get burnt on your ride?" Tania noticed the bandages wrapped around her tiny hands.

Shrug.

"Can we see?" both asked.

Hesitation. Nod.

Each Twin took a hand and unwrapped the dressing, studying the red and white skin underneath. Her fingers had heat blisters that had burst. Matron had obviously cleaned up the blood and washed away any soot, making it easier to see where the girl had smeared her hands through the flames when she leaped onto the burning bed.

"You used accelerant?" Tania didn't have to see the nod to know. Only way to make the mattress catch that fast would be to douse it with fuel.

"Made a proper mess of it. Shouldn't be applying that stuff with your hands." Tara shook her head with the air of a teacher disappointed in her pupil's exam. The blondes exchanged glances. No wonder her palms looked like she'd been playing catch with live coals. Tania went to their room and grabbed her motorcycle helmet. Digging through her gear she pulled out the items she wanted just as she returned. Tara had just finished re-wrapping the injured hands.

"Here, can't have you burning your hands off 'til after you teach us your tricks." Tania handed Ashlin her biker gloves, "They'll be big but we'll get something the proper size in short order."

Ashlin's mouth hung open in surprise as the two older girls fitted the thin leather gloves over her bandages and tightened the straps. They were definitely too big but the bulk didn't seem to bother her. She flexed her fingers, listening to the organic creak of the leather and grinned up at them both.

"Right, until you say otherwise we're calling you Ash." Tara winked, dismissing her back to the First Year crib. Tania rested an arm on her sister's shoulder, watching as the other girls gave the tiny firebug a wide berth. That wouldn't last long; St. Trinian's students had a short memory for both pain and fear.

"It's gonna be a good year." Tania smiled. On the other side of the room Julie and Jem were having a bloody row about what kind of music was more likely to be torturing the dead: loud screamo or tasteless pop. Georgiana had the rest of the Totty in mourning for her shoes. Tabitha was trying to calmly explain to Patience why it was impractical for the Eco's to rely totally on solar power in the English climate. No sun = no damned solar power.

"Best yet." Tara agreed with a matching grin.


	3. Under New Management

Four days into the new term, Tania and Tara had already proven themselves to be in a leadership class all their own. No other school on earth had a Head Girl with four eyes, four arms, two mouths and one mind; backed up with a 6 year stockpile of illegal weaponry. Fights were ended far more swiftly, punishments meted our more creatively and crimes easily exposed but encouraged nonetheless.

"Make sure she can't move her bloody arms!" Julie ordered her Emos as they pinned Paris (Jem's right hand) to the wall and began securing her with nail guns.

"Target practice, Jules?" Tara inquired, watching as the Chav fought for her freedom and got a nail in her arm as a reward. She was the only Chav in the dorm. Never wise to walk into the students' cohabitation space singing N-Dubz at the top of your lungs if you don't have backup.

"Maybe later. We're just experimenting with brainwashing for now." Julie grinned, showing filed fangs as she held up a set of headphones. When she went to put them on Paris' ears the Chav cursed and bit at her, very nearly catching skin. The head Emo growled and grabbed a roll of duct tape, sealing her victim's mouth shut and then taping the headphones securely to her head. There was wicked relish in every emos' eyes as their leader pressed play on an iPod, releasing endless hours of Deftones and Suicidal Tendencies with Benton Falls mixed in for good measure. She'd even arranged for one song by MIA to play every few hours, just to taunt her with false hope.

"Just remember to let her get some liquids every few hours. And if she wets herself you're cleaning up." Tara reminded them. No need to get involved, the rest of the Chavs would be up to sort this out shortly. Besides, it was an interesting experiment.

"Tara! Tara! It's stolen! I told you there's a thief!" Georgiana lunged at the Head Girl, brandishing her massive toiletries case as though it were evidence in a homicide case.

"What's stolen, George?" Tara fought to keep her eyes from rolling heavenward.

"Don't call me that! I hate that name. Makes me feel like a dreadful drag queen or, or, washed up 80's pop star!" the Totty stamped her massively high-heeled foot.

"Or both. What is missing, Georgiana?" Tara repeated her question, knowing that if she didn't get the blonde back on track she'd tear off on a brainless tangent and forget her complaint entirely until about 2 am, when she would remember and disrupt everyone's sleep with a great deal of screeching.

"My spray! I brought three cans with me and now one's missing!" she rattled her box of toiletries, larger than some girls' suitcases. Tara patiently opened the Gucci case and scanned the contents - marveling that such a scattered brain could assemble such a complex organizational system. Nuclear physicists weren't this precise with their atoms!

"There's only one can of hairspray here." she pulled out the canister and really wished it was her sister here right now. Tania was so much better at dealing with the Totty. Tara was brilliant with the Emos, Geeks and Ecos; Tania the best with the Chavs, Flammables and Posh Totty. None of the tribes would ever know of course, only the twins themselves knew that dealing with certain cliques gave them more of a headache.

"What? Another gone already?" Georgiana shrieked, grabbing the case back and rummaging urgently through the contents.

"I know maths isn't your strong suit but I doubt anyone nicked your spray while you were standing here talking to me. How about you go search that mountain of supplies you use to maintain a fabulously plasticized appearance and come back to me when you find the other two cans?"

_Or however many you actually brought, stupid slapper! _Tara was quick to shove the last can of prized product back into the Totty's manicured fingernails and move past her. It would be easily three minutes before George understood that she'd been insulted. A further 12 before she'd do as she was told and take apart her ornate boudoir. That gave the Twin roughly 15 minutes to convince the hairspray thief to hide. The rash of thefts that had plagued the dorms had a very recognizable theme - at least for anyone with TnT's history with explosives. The objects that had gone missing: gel inserts from the Geeks, nail polish remover from the Chavs, hair ties from Flammables, Eco candles, the Emos' black nail polish and assorted deodorants all added up to one result: fire.

Tara knew exactly who the thief was. She just couldn't entirely blame her. From the moment the St. Trinian's girls realized their youngest member didn't speak, they'd made it a mission to hear her voice. For four days the First and Second Form had been completely united in trying to tease/coax/bribe/scare a sound out of Ash. Nothing had worked yet. The only result was that she'd taken to more creative means of protecting herself.

Tara glanced at her watch. Eleven in the morning. That meant First Years were in science, a dangerous location at the best of times. When the Twins were still in their first years of school at St. Trinian's First Year Science was held in a modified shed; extremely thick, sturdy blast walls and a light roof. It might be advisable to relocate the class to the more explosion-proof setting once again.

Approaching the classroom Tara spotted her sister already leaning against the wall outside the door. She was watching through the window with a faint smirk. Tara joined her, peering in to watch the mob inside. The youngest students had frightened the teacher into a fetal position under her desk. She was rocking and reciting the periodic table. The girls were now all gathered in a circle in the middle of the room, their victim suspended upside down from the ceiling.

"Just say you want down!" they taunted as Ash hung above them.

"How long have they had her up there?" Tara glanced over at her sister.

"Just over five minutes," Tania checked her watch, "What brought you?"

"George's hairspray. You?"

"Patience is missing some of the Ecos' fuel cell hydrogen. Thought maybe our tongue-tied pyro would know where it went." the curly-haired blonde shrugged. Tara couldn't think of anyone else with the instinct, ability and desire to steal such highly combustible fuel (not since she and her sister had free access to all the explosives they needed) and agreed with the logic.

"What's she doing?"

"Some kind of seizure?"

"You got the jacket and fireballs right?" the voices from in the room varied from curious to panicked.

The Twins shared a nod of silent agreement and pushed the classroom door open. They gathered a few eyes but most (including the blonds') stayed glued to Ash's suspended form as she shivered violently. Her bound hands flailed as her whole body trembled. Suspended by her feet, her whole body swung faintly as she quivered.

"If she's seizing we gotta cut her down!" one student shouted.

"Screw that! She might scream!" another argued. The driving urge to hear a voice was obviously going to override any other sense.

TnT exchanged glances, containing their smirks. The shuddering was a little too deliberate. A small item vibrated out of Ash's waist band and into her waiting hands. The Twins were probably the only ones who had been watching for the book of matches to appear. The silent firebug could be stripped naked and would_ still_ have matches.

Once she had hold of it she doubled in half, reaching into her shoe and emerging with a small gel packet that she tore with her teeth. She squirted the gel over the students below her and before they could move she struck and dropped a match. Two girls, who'd been directly below her and got more of the flammable gel on their clothes, rapidly caught fire and began screaming.

_Saw that coming._ Tania and Tara both shook their heads and cut through the students, knocking the burning girls to the ground. They expertly patted out the flames despite shrieks and flailing arms.

Once the fires were smothered the Twins examined the injuries. This made five girls in three days. Tania quickly ordered a handful of First Years to get the wounded girls to the Matron's office. The nurse was certainly brushing up on burn treatments. Tara ordered the rest of the girls to release Ash. It was obvious that this attempt to hear the silent student's voice had failed as well. _That makes at least seven. _A released knot allowed the 9 year old to come crashing to the ground, taking three other students out.

"Miss Fritton wants to see us." Tania reminded her sister, almost having forgotten herself amidst the activity. Tara cursed under her breath but nodded. She waited as the youngest St. Trinian's all gathered themselves from the floor and freed their victim.

"Right. If this is about all the scorch marks on campus," Tara snapped her fingers for their attention.

"You're all accountable, hear?" Tania finished the threat.

The girls stared up in surprise, accountability was a foreign concept to First Years. Only Ashlin seemed immune to the warning. Once her hands were free she pulled matches and a can of (George's) hairspray from her satchel on the floor. She lit a chemical blowtorch that scorched the blackboard as students dove out of her way. It was her favorite method of escape. The chrysanthemum burn pattern was becoming common throughout campus.

"Get the paint." the Twins both ordered the rest of the First Form before leaving the classroom.

* * *

><p>Sauntering back along the corridors the Twins surveyed their school with languid satisfaction. They'd always been proud to be St. Trinian's, the school unrivaled in its reputation for terror. Now they ruled it. They controlled the most feared body of students in the northern hemisphere. Small wonder they were both grinning like smug tigers.<p>

They had to pause on their way to the Headmistress' office to settle a small squabble off the main hall.

"Bleach!"

"Evangelion!"

"Naruto?"

"Last Exile!"

"BLEACH!" the loudest voice accompanied her shout with the sharp sound of a weapon stabbing wood. A large weapon.

"Bloody new tribe." Tania rolled her eyes and growled.

"They're cute." Tara argued. They walked into the common room, taking in the sight of four girls locked in an argument around the coffee table. The wood had been splintered by the piercing blade of an ornamental Samurai sword. Another girl was brandishing a reproduction axe that looked like the bastard of a scythe mating with a spear. How the weapons got clearance as 'costume accessories' was beyond the Twins. The Geeks must've deliberately turned a blind eye.

St. Trinian's newest tribe was still settling on a name. They had wanted to be known as Otaku but the entire rest of the school just called them 'those bloody Animes.' They were the spawn of an unholy union between the Geeks and the Emos. During the Fourth Form the Head Girl was a Geek who also happened to be shagging the lead Emo. It was unprecedented but unstoppable. The ensuing overlap between tribes created these psychotic, moody little nerds that stayed up all night learning Japanese, playing video games and sharpening weaponry.

"Problem girls?" Tara asked as she pulled a throwing star out of the wood of the doorframe. One of many. The Animes all went quiet, glaring at each other but not daring to meet the eyes of the Head Girls.

"Just deciding what to watch." one of them mumbled. Another muttered a few words in Japanese that earned her sharp elbows from the third and fourth simultaneously. Tania circled around the cluster of girls, making them sweat while her twin held their attention. No predicting which side would attack first.

"You can always vote by force," Tara acknowledged 's oldest method of settling arguments, "But you know the rule."

"No armed combat in doors." Tania reminded them all, wrenching the sword free of the coffee table with one hand. They flinched as the sword swished in an arc over their heads.

"Aw, come on, TT!" the younger girls had taken to abbreviating Tania and Tara down to their initials to save time while whingeing.

"You get it back in the morning." Tania's sternly raised eyebrow silenced all whines.

"Same for these." Tara added, pulling the last throwing star from the door frame. She glanced at the points as she and her sister walked away. _Home made and razor sharp. Might have to confiscate a few. _She smiled at Tania and handed her half of the tiny weapons for their collection. Head Girl's Tax.

* * *

><p>The Twins had discussed all possible reasons for the Headmistress to have called them. They had plenty of time to go through the options, waiting for their turn to enter the locked office. Four days into a new year so it was doubtful that anyone's probation officer had already turned up. None of the teachers had been assaulted or chased away. Yet. Even the garden shed was still standing, though TnT had some ambitious plans for their free time.<p>

Their best guess was that Miss Fritton had some requisitions that needed to be submitted to Flash. The Spiv would be coming that evening to renew their trade arrangement after the summer hiatus. It always made both girls grin to think of Harry and the fresh tortures they could invent for him in the coming year. Barely 30, there could be no doubt the Twins were the cause of the premature grey that he kept touched up. He'd even had to start shaving so the distressed color didn't show in his beard.

The office door swung open and Geoffrey Thwaites strolled out, humming happily to himself but flinching the moment Tania and Tara rose. They watched his escaping back, both noticing he needed to tuck his shirt in. Humming. The girls knew what that meant. Now, if the Headmistress was smoking they'd be absolutely sure. They heard their names called and entered the office, doing their best to suppress giggles at the sight of the cigarette in their leader's hand.

"I have reports that four girls are already missing from their classes." Camilla got straight to the business of wiping those knowing smirks off their faces.

The two sets of blue eyes sparkled happily. There were actually 6 girls currently 'indisposed' but they weren't about to volunteer that information. Besides, three weren't due for release until after the weekend.

"They'll make up the work." the girls promised.

"See that they do. Also, Miss Maupassant is threatening to quit if her cigarettes get stolen again. If your girls are running out they must just increase the order with Flash."

"We'll get an extra crate." they enjoyed watching the Headmistress' irritation as they continued to answer in stereo. It was the small pleasures in life.

"Good. Now," Fritton lit a cigarette and leaned back in her chair, "How're the girls doing?"

"Fearless and unstoppable." Tania grinned

"As ever." Tara finished.

"Glad to hear it. No trouble to report?" Fritton's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, scrutinizing their expressions. Tania and Tara both held their breath for a fraction of a second as they mentally ran through the 'problems' of the last few days. Two Emos needing stitches, the Geeks losing their controlling interest in their favorite calculator company, the Chavs and Posh Totty getting into a territory war over wall outlets at the sinks, the Ecos trying to compost several Flammables' wardrobe . . .

That didn't even cover the new problem student. Seven burn victims, three dorm fires and at least 11 separate walls scorched. The Twins had stayed on top of the incidents, distributing fire extinguishers, cans of paint and bottles of Savlon.

"None." their sweet voices harmonized. They no longer possessed the deceptive innocence of their childhood but they'd mastered candid guile. The Headmistress regarded them through another inhale from her fag, piercing the shields of their thoughts.

"Very good. Bodes well for the coming year. You're excused." she waved them off.

"Thank you, Miss." both girls shot to their feet and made for the door, paused only by the sound of their mistress clearing her throat.

"Do make sure the girls remember to paint the burnt wall in the pool house," Fritton reminded them casually, "You might also have them clean the filters, I understand they can only take so much ash."

The chagrined Twins looked over their shoulders at her, catching the smug sparkle in her eyes. She shooed them on with a wave of her cigarette, her smirk hidden behind the trail of smoke.


End file.
